
Many native speakers avoid using whom because it feels complicated — but it’s easier than you think. In this mini lesson, you’ll learn a simple trick to choose the right word every time.
The Basic Rule
Word | Use As |
Who | The subject (the person doing the action) |
Whom | The object (the person receiving the action) |
Examples:
- Who called you? (Who = subject = doing the calling)
- You called whom? (Whom = object = receiving the call)
The Simple Trick:
➔ Try replacing who/whom with he/she or him/her. If he/she fits → use who. If him/her fits → use whom.
Examples:
- (Who/Whom) did you invite? You invited him → Whom did you invite?
- (Who/Whom) is coming to dinner? He is coming to dinner → Who is coming to dinner?
- To (who/whom) should I send this email? I should send it to him → To whom should I send this email?
When You Can Skip "Whom"
- In casual conversation or informal writing, many native speakers simply use who.
- In formal writing (business, academic, legal), use whom correctly.
Common Situations:
Example | Correct Word | Why |
I don’t know (who/whom) to ask. | whom | ask him |
(Who/Whom) wrote this report? | who | he wrote |
With (who/whom) are you speaking? | whom | speaking to him |
(Who/Whom) is responsible for this? | who | he is responsible |
Practice Exercises:
Exercise 1 – Choose Who or Whom
- (Who/Whom) called you yesterday?
- You spoke to (who/whom)?
- (Who/Whom) do you trust the most?
- I wonder (who/whom) will arrive first.
- She didn’t know (who/whom) to contact.
Exercise 2 – Rewrite these sentences using the correct form:
- To who should I address the letter?
- Who are you meeting later?
- Whom is coming to the party?
Writing Task
Write a short paragraph (5–7 sentences) about a situation where you had to ask for help or information.
- Use at least 3 sentences with who or whom.
- Submit your paragraph for correction and personal feedback.
Answer Key
Exercise 1 Answers:
- Who
- Whom
- Whom
- Who
- Whom
Exercise 2 Answers:
- To whom should I address the letter?
- Whom are you meeting later? (But “Who are you meeting later?” is commonly used in conversation)
- Who is coming to the party?
TIP: If you’re ever unsure, and it’s casual, it’s usually okay to just use who. But knowing how to use whom correctly will make your writing more professional and polished.